You’re Not His Mom — Stop Feeding Him Like One
Keep Reading What No One Talks About.
Real Talk you were never supposed to admit out loud.
🧲 Let’s Talk About It
You’re buying groceries.
Cooking full meals.
Fixing plates like it's Sunday dinner at Big Mama’s house…
And the man you’re doing it for?
Can’t even spell reciprocation.
Much less show up with groceries, effort, or appreciation.
Let’s be real:
You’re not his mama. So why are you feeding him like one?
🧠 This Is Why You Feel What You Feel
It started off small…
He came over hungry — you fed him.
He stayed the night — you cooked breakfast.
He said he missed home-cooked meals — and you felt special being the one who made him feel “at home.”
But now?
🍽 You’re meal-prepping for a man who doesn’t even buy the ingredients.
💸 Your fridge is empty while his stomach is full.
🧠 You’re carrying the mental load of feeding both of you, every week — unthanked, unhelped, and unacknowledged.
You didn’t sign up for this.
You were trying to love him.
But he’s treating you like a caregiver with benefits.
🔍 BREAKDOWN (How This Dynamic Develops)
This isn’t just about the food.
It’s about what the food symbolizes.
💡 Feeding him = Providing for him.
And while meals may feel “small,” the emotional labor is real.
Here’s what happens when you keep feeding a man who doesn’t feed into you:
You begin overgiving to feel loved
You use caretaking as your love language — but he takes it as permission to do less
You start bonding through service, not support
Soon, your kitchen becomes the most emotionally expensive room in your house.
🚨 RED FLAGS YOU’RE COOKING FOR A TAKER:
He never brings groceries but always shows up hungry
He says “you make it so good” but never offers to learn or help
He compliments the meal but never the effort
He eats like a king, contributes like a child
He talks about wanting a “wife” — but acts like a dependent
Real love doesn’t consume you.
It considers you.
📊 THE TRUE COST OF PLAYING MAMA IN THE KITCHEN
💵 Financial:
Spending money on extra groceries you didn’t budget for
Watching your food stamps, EBT, or grocery cash stretch for two — when it barely covers you
🕰 Time:
Hours spent meal prepping, cooking, cleaning — alone
Time lost that could’ve gone to your rest, goals, or soft life
🧠 Emotional:
Feeling resentful after the 3rd or 4th time he doesn’t offer to help
Feeling unappreciated, even though your love came with seasoning and soul
💬 WHAT TO DO INSTEAD
📍Set Boundaries in the Kitchen
Boundary Script 1:
“I love cooking, but it’s something I want to share with someone who contributes. Groceries, dishes, or help — pick one.”
Boundary Script 2:
“I’ve realized I’ve been doing too much for people who aren’t feeding me emotionally, mentally, or spiritually. I’m reserving my energy for those who pour back.”
Boundary Script 3:
“This kitchen is closed until further notice. Takeout is on your own tab.”
💡 SHIFT THE ENERGY:
Start asking:
Does he feed me — in any way?
Does he…
Add peace to your space?
Help lighten your load?
Bring value to your day-to-day life?
Because if the only thing he brings is an empty stomach and a working appetite,
he’s not a partner — he’s a freeloader with a favorite dish.
❤️ FINAL TAKEAWAY
Listen — feeding someone can be an act of love.
But feeding someone who constantly takes without contributing?
That’s caretaking dressed up as connection.
That’s mothering dressed up as romance.
That’s struggle love with a side of frustration.
You deserve to cook for a man who makes you feel full.
Full of peace.
Full of joy.
Full of gratitude — not just groceries.
Because this is your reminder:
You’re not his mom.
You’re not his maid.
And you are not his microwave-ready blessing.
From now on?
If he’s not pouring into you — his plate stays empty.