You’re Not Asking for Too Much — You’re Asking the Wrong Men
Keep Reading What No One Talks About.
Real Talk you were never supposed to admit out loud.
There’s nothing wrong with your standards. There’s something wrong with who you’re applying them to.
🧲 Let’s Talk About It
You ask for consistency — he calls you clingy.
You ask for help — he says you’re “too dependent.”
You ask for effort — and somehow you’re the problem?
Let’s get one thing straight:
You’re not asking for too much.
You’re just asking the wrong men.
The ones who want the perks of your softness, strength, and loyalty —
without matching any of it in return.
🧠 This Is Why You Feel What You Feel
You were taught to:
Lower your voice so he feels bigger
Shrink your needs so he stays longer
Play it cool so you don’t seem “too much”
You’ve been in rooms, relationships, and group chats where women got labeled as “gold diggers” for simply wanting to be taken care of.
And now you second-guess yourself.
Should I want less?
Should I do more first?
Should I earn his love?
No, queen.
You should raise your filter — not lower your standards.
🧭 THE SHIFT: The Right Man Doesn’t Get Scared By Your Needs — He Steps Into Them
Let’s stop pretending this is about you being too loud, too needy, too emotional, or too picky.
It’s about auditioning for roles you don’t even want anymore.
The truth?
You’ve evolved.
And the men you’ve been choosing… haven’t.
💡 5 Reasons You’re Not Asking for Too Much (And What to Do Instead)
1️⃣ You’ve Been Asking Men Who Can’t Even Provide for Themselves
If he’s struggling to survive emotionally, financially, or mentally…
he’s not in a position to build with you.
He’s in a position to lean on you.
And that’s why your needs feel like pressure to him — not purpose.
✅ What to do instead:
Start vetting for capacity, not chemistry.
Ask yourself: Can he carry anything other than his phone and his trauma?
2️⃣ You’re Offering Loyalty Before You’ve Been Offered Leadership
You stay loyal to men who can’t even plan a weekend —
let alone a life.
You're hoping consistency will turn into commitment.
But love doesn’t grow from being loyal too soon.
It grows from being led by someone who’s clear, capable, and committed.
✅ What to do instead:
Pause your loyalty until you see a vision.
If he’s not building anything, stop investing everything.
3️⃣ You’ve Confused Struggle Bonding With Soul Connection
You think:
“If we survive this together, it means we’re real.”
No.
It means you’ve trauma-bonded with a man who benefits from your exhaustion.
Who gets comfort, sex, food, and emotional stability —
without providing structure, stability, or strategy.
✅ What to do instead:
Stop calling it “loyalty” when it’s really unpaid labor.
Soulmates don’t drain you. They double you.
4️⃣ You’ve Been Shamed Into Thinking Receiving is Weak
When you ask for help:
He says you're “spoiled”
Friends call you “bougie”
Social media calls you a “pick-me” for having standards
And so you work twice as hard to prove you’re low maintenance.
But here’s the truth:
Low maintenance often means high neglect.
✅ What to do instead:
Say this out loud:
“It’s not weak to want support — it’s smart.”
Femininity is powerful. It receives, it attracts, it multiplies.
Let it.
5️⃣ You’re Not Too Much — You’re Just Meant for More
You feel like:
You need too much attention
You want too much support
You’re dreaming too big
You’re asking for too much love
But the right man will hear your “too much” and say:
“I’ve been waiting for someone who knew what she wanted.”
✅ What to do instead:
Stop shrinking.
Stop apologizing.
Stop explaining your softness and your standards.
Start aligning.
Because you don’t need everyone — you just need the right one.
❤️ FINAL TAKEAWAY
You don’t ask for too much.
You ask too soon.
You ask men who haven’t done enough for themselves — let alone you.
You ask in relationships where you’ve already proven more than you should.
But starting now, you ask with standards, not silence.
You ask with clarity, not shame.
You ask with the calm confidence of a woman who knows:
“What I want isn’t too big — he’s just too small.”